Jewelry, pins, and ribbons have new meaning after the death of a baby. Bereaved mothers and fathers are walking memorials for their babies in heaven. We don’t have a favorite t-shirt or teddy bear with our children’s scent to hold onto at night. We have memories and trinkets to adorn our bodies, representing the everlasting love for sweet babies gone too soon.
My jewelry box is now filled with butterflies, angels,hearts, gemstones, charms with the letter “T”, pink and blue ribbons, a perfume vile holding my stillborn son’s ashes, and pins reflecting hope and faith.
When I was a teenager waiting tables at a restaurant, a woman named Agatha would come to my section once a week for coffee. She noticed a stone charm on my necklace and commented on how lovely it was. She then asked me what it meant. I told her it didn’t mean anything and that I bought the stone because I liked it. She sternly looked at me and said, “Everything you wear should have meaning”. I would have a different response for Agatha today.
My mother is an avid QVC shopper and always finds deals on jewelry for me. Years before Tanner was born still she would find charms with hearts, heart earrings or heart pins to give me throughout the year. I was very frank with her about my dislike of girlie heart-like jewelry, not particularly my personality. So my mother stopped giving me gifts with heart themes. My experience of losing my sweet baby has changed my feelings toward hearts and I now gladly accept them.
Only after the passing of my son Tanner was I told by my grandmother’s sister (Veronica) that her mother (my great grandmother) had a stillborn baby girl and named her Veronica. It is rather strange that a tombstone of her daughter reads Veronica and she also had a living daughter with the same name. Pregnancy loss was much different 80 years ago. I wonder if my great grandmother had special trinkets in her jewelry box for her deceased child. I don’t think the concept of jewelry with meaning has changed, but maybe the jewelry in itself has. Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month has been established since 1987 by President Ronald Regan, helping to recognize the grief of losing a baby or early pregnancy loss.
My mother is now going through my other grandmother’s jewelry box and handing down these treasures to me. I wonder if anything means something I am unaware of. She has Alzmeimer’s disease now and I would be unable to ask her.
It is very difficult to part with anything from a jewelry box because there may be an angel remembered from long ago.
Peace Love and Hugs from Above www.justacloudaway.com