Having depression is one thing, but the side effects from medication are JUST as evil or greater because many surface with just one. Becoming physically unattractive killed my self-confidence, increasing my anger and frustration. For 3 years I was a guinea pig ingesting several meds at once, not knowing which medication was causing what or if it was depression itself. Simultaneously administered were; anxiety pills, mood stabilizers, antipsychotics, sleeping pills, antidepressants and medications warding off inevitable side effects. It took 3 months for medications to reach therapeutic level before they would listen to side effects. Then it was on to another.
A few medications caused brittle hair and hair loss. I frowned on daily showers because of low energy plus the new chore of cleaning enormous clumps of hair from the drain while my pony-tail band kept getting smaller and smaller. Facial skin turned pale, dried out, full of strange bumps and redness in certain parts, soon to be diagnosed with an incurable condition called Ocular Rosacea. It worsened with stress, wind, dry air, cold air, sunlight and being overheated, placing more restrictions on activities.
My weight fluctuated like a yo-yo between 105-145 pounds. I knew at one time I was attractive, but felt like fading away….
Standing in front of the mirror was agonizing when I needed to venture into public. It was an overwhelming thinking of the long preparation needed before feeling comfortable enough for others to lay their eyes on me. Some days it was too much.
This list doesn’t even touch the side effects contributing to the uncomfortable disabling medicinal symptoms not associated with physical self-image. Self-confidence died a long time ago and isn’t returned 100% , but I feel with stress at a minimum and continued support, my thoughts will eventually change.