Archive for May, 2008

Last week was mothers day and my 4th without my stillborn son, Tanner. Ave Maria was sung in church and my tears came freely because it was sung at his memorial service too. The day was rainy but beautiful as well. All of his gardens were exploding with rose blossoms to brighten my mothers day.

For Tanner’s first birthday or angelversary, we received many gifts in his honor. My girlfriends living out of state gave me a gift certificate to a plant nursery to purchase what I thought was appropriate for him. We also received money for his birthday to purchase plants. I choose 3 “Little Gem” Magnolia trees, pale pink “Knock Out” roses and “Sissinghurst” verbena groundcover or perennials.

We live in the country with a great deal of land to erect several memory gardens for Tanner. The “Little Gem” magnolia trees were chosen because he is a little gem to us, the roses and verbena were selected because they are drought toloerate, bloom from May until frost and are very easy to grow.

The very first memory garden my husband and I created in Tanner’s honor has matured quite a bit. The roses are soft apricot in color and make for beautiful cutting roses. This variety is called “Pretty Lady”.

Mothers Day seems to be the perfect time to visit his garden to pull some weeds, reflection and cut beautiful roses to bring indoors from his special place.

I will plant more in the fall to fill in the spots where last years drought did a number on the plants.

It is never too late to give a gift in honor of a baby that has died. Angelversaries are usually grieved in silence and receiving a keepsake, gift certificate or memorial plant could help a bereaved parent on a difficult day.

To all the Mothers of Angels……………

Peace Love and Hugs from Above  www.justacloudaway.com


Read Full Post »

My baby is in heaven and I cannot even fathom the beauty of this playground. I truly love this earth and feel some places are indeed heavenly. I can visually imagine all the little babies that have died early in pregnancy, stillborn or as an infant, together in a special place waiting for us. A place rich in vivid colors, no words can describe.

The clouds glisten like snow and cushion our babies when they fall. At night the billowy puffs swaddle our children like a white fleece blankie just fetched from the dryer.

The brightly colored flowers on hillsides and valleys bloom forever to slow their speed as they tumble down.

Butterflies carry and care as our angels frolic through the meadows tasting sweet nectar from the flowers blooming at their noses.


Brightly colored crocus and camellia flowers taste like cotton candy or gummy bears when the children need a sweet treat.

Precious angel babies can drink from any stream, lake or river when thirsty from playing in the warm sunshine quenching thirsty little mouths.

What Dreams May Come,a movie starring Robin Williams was a beautiful rendition of how heaven could be for our babies that have passed. The vivid colors, beautiful imagdry, and the thought of having peace without obstacles was very appealing and comforting to me.

My son Tanner was stillborn 4 years ago and I still think about him everyday. If you have not lost a child you may think it would be impossible to do so. There are so many things in everyday life that remind me of my sweet child in heaven. Certain colors, scents, words, and songs could trigger my thoughts of Tanner. My garden is full of brightly colored flowers in the month of May, also Mother’s Day where my thoughts are of my child in heaven.

Cuddled up with a buttercup my sweet son

I Love You Always, Mommy


Read Full Post »

When Uncle Danny was coming through the birth canal, the umbilical cord tightened around his little neck cutting off oxygen. He would be born, healthy, happy and have the biggest heart you could imagine.

I live on my husband’s parents land, 2000 feet from their home. Uncle Danny is my father-in-laws brother who also lives in the home. Uncle Danny had been cared for by  his parents until their death. Uncle Danny is the type of person who would drop everything to help someone out. He is sweet, loving, incredibly hardworking with a gentleness all of his own.

When my son Tanner was stillborn, we weren’t living out here at the time. I was not as close to Uncle Danny like I am now. My in laws told me that Uncle Danny was taking Tanner’s death really hard because this similar situation had happened to him.

Uncle Danny’s cord accident has made his speech somewhat slurred and he may move a little slower than the rest of us, but he has a great deal to offer society. He is very good with directions, remembering important dates, mowing, and even making cookies.

I asked Uncle Danny to come over and help me make Christmas cookies and of coarse he said yes. I gave him the spoon for the cookies dough and told him to make small cookies and place on cookie sheets. Afterwards he told me he had never made cookies before. I was quite surprised because he is so helpful with everything else.

After the death of a baby from a cord accident comments like, “something would be terribly wrong with them”, is not something a parent wants to hear. Uncle Danny’s compassion is deeper than most and to hear that something could have been wrong with the child doesn’t give comfort to me or any other parent. A parent will love their child no matter what the circumstance.

I am so glad to have Uncle Danny in my life and truly blessed by his constant postive attitude. Umbilical accidents don’t always have a sad outcome.

I love you more than you know Uncle Danny

Peace Love and Hugs from Above  www.justacloudaway.com


Read Full Post »


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 40 other followers