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Posts Tagged ‘Scrapbooks’

Pride is crushed by desperation to keep the home, family and dreams of a stable life. I am asking for financial help and after reading this story, maybe you can find it in your heart.

2003- Our first child was stillborn, his name is Tanner. An umbilical cord accident and I don’t know if I caused it to tighten by raising my hands over my head during the last week. This will always be on my mind. Alcohol was my best friend for the month following his death. Not knowing I was Bipolar at that time, mania set in and the idea of constructing a memory garden turned into an obsession.

Soon afterwards, pregnant again against doctors wishes and the pregnancy followed the same season as with Tanner. This was a curse to endure wearing the same pregnancy clothing, seeing the same weather patterns and feeling unsure of baby movements. I did not want any family members to show their happiness for fear they weren’t grieving Tanner. My living son and Tanner’s birthday are 2 weeks apart.

2004- Our first living son was born by induction and I went into a deep depression shortly afterwards. Doctor prescribed antidepressants for postpartum because of unhealthy thoughts. Not knowing that Bipolar Disorder patients are sent into mania if a mood stabilizer is not also taken, ideas to help bereaved parents rushed my brain.

2006- Just a Cloud Away was incorporated as a resource for bereaved parents of baby loss. A scrapbook kit was the product designed to help bereaved parents work through their grief by memorializing their babies with the kit. I had a business coach and a one woman marketing company. I now see how many mistakes were made by their counsel with the biggest being a $60,000 home equity line used for new business ventures.

2007- Realization the kit would be a failure and the loan taking a lifetime to pay back. Started having relationship problems with friends and spouse

2008- Focusing more on Diana Digs Dirt

2010- In a manic state without thinking through, decided to open Cornerstone Garden

2011- Claimed bankruptcy because all credit cards were used for Just a Cloud Away. This horrible experience that rips your insides into oblivion sent me into another deep depression and decided to seek psychiatric help. In addition to existing ADHD, SAD and Panic Disorder was the forever  diagnosis no one wants to hear, Bipolar Disorder. It took many months for myself and family to accept. One travels the same process as in death; Shock, Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. The main goal is to stabilize the condition, called Bipolar Remission or Recovery. This is at least 6 months without mania or depression. The norm for Bipolar people will never be that of those without the condition.

2011-2014- Medications- It takes years to find the right combination for each individual. Everyone tolerates medicines differently, several different disorders could be present, tolerating side effects or dosage and the interactions of medications could cause confusion.

2012- First hospitalization for suicidal planning in an unfamiliar unit.

2013-Emergency Room visit for a severe panic attack. Another 9 days later, an over night stay in the hospital for Lithium Toxicity. Physical pain sets in causing difficulty moving in the morning and evening hours. Painful numbness in hands and forearms

2014-Trip to the crisis unit for severe panic attack and a week later to the ER for physical pain that cannot be identified.

Currently I have a Landscape Design company called Diana Digs Dirt, a garden shop named Cornerstone Garden and Just a Cloud Away. Loosing them would throw me into depression because the passion  keeps me moving forward.

If you can help out it would be appreciated from the bottom of my heart

Diana Williams    2652 NC Hwy 62 East    Liberty, NC 27298

Read how hospital rejects me

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A poem may seem like something you could not possibly accomplish for your bereaved friend, but you can. Poems can come straight from your heart embracing all the love you and your friend has for her baby so sadly missed.

I wrote a very simple poem just days after the stillbirth of my son,”Proud Father and Stillborn Son Share Birthday’s“. This poem consists of short words or phrases lined down the page capturing the feelings I had at that time.

My girlfriend wrote a poem or short story about our stillborn son, Tanner. Receiving this “Love Memorial™” from her absolutely touched me beyond words. She loves him too. “If He Could Tell You…”.

Journaling is such a healing activity. It provides an outlet to express your emotions that sometimes are difficult to say in words. If you wrote in your journal about the loss of your friend’s baby, go back and read it again. Now read an entry about your bereaved friend weeks, days or months later. Did the two of you have coffee at your favorite restaurant? Did you take a walk in the park? Did you provide her a shoulder to lean on? Did you think about what your friend’s baby is doing in heaven? Was there a song or soothing music cd you purchased for her? Now think about how your relationship with your girlfriend has changed for the better. Maybe it’s the closeness you feel towards her and the loss of her child.

These are all things to embrace when you are composing a poem for your grieving friend. Don’t think this is an overwhelming task. Gather all the information about the deceased infant and your friend before beginning your poem. Start by selecting the important words describing your feelings for her baby, her wonderful and nurturing characteristic and how her baby may have touched your heart if the child was here. This heartfelt poem will be a “Love Memorial™” treasured for life.

To help you even further, you may want to view, “The Season Your Baby Died and Became an Angel“, “Photographs Remembering Angels-Sky Journals“, and “Zodiac Signs for Miscarried Babies“.

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Your beautiful words can be added to the child’s scrapbooks or shadowboxes as a tribute to your friend and her beloved angel baby.

A poem of hope to my baby Tanner

While we were dreaming of your baby ways

God was planning your heavenly days

While we wept when we were alone

God rejoiced because you were home

Loving you always my little Tanner Nanner

Love Mommy

Peace Love and Hugs from Above  www.justacloudaway.com

Diana

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Even though it has been 4 years, my senses are still open to receive signs from my heavenly children. Not only am I conscious of signs, my friends are too. I hope that family and friends will also let you know when your angel baby has touched them in some way.

This particular friend of mine was pregnant the same time I was with my son Tanner who was stillborn. She was probably hurting as much as myself when Tanner died, realizing this could have happened to her. Around the time when my son passed she had a musical toy that seemed to go off at peculiar times. Just recently, while putting the dishes away (and after she said a prayer for Tanner) she heard the music coming from the dishwasher. Not once, but 4 times and the toy was upstairs. This was my son reaching out to her.

I have another friend who lights a candle for Tanner and takes note of butterflies that surround her. The butterfly was a very significant sign to us for other reasons than “beautiful transformation“.

It is never a bad time to talk about my child who was here such a brief time. To mention their name, to make references of them, to include their names in a card are all small gifts making a world of difference to parents of angels. Let’s try to work together and get rid of the term “silent grief” honoring every little life no matter how brief.

My son had given several signs to family and friends after he had passed. When it was time for our sign……it couldn’t have been any bigger than a billboard. Here are the pictures to prove it http://justacloudaway.com/nav-sidebar-ideas/angels.html and our story is also on this blog called “Stillborn and Still here” and can also be found by a google search.

Because their are so few tangible memories, every story that relates to my sweet little angel Tanner will be preserved in our family scrapbook.

Peace Love and Hugs from Above  www.justacloudaway.com

Diana 

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 I have researched online to find supportive elements for bereaved families of miscarriage and other early pregnancy losses to create memory gardens, scrapbooks and other keepsakes for little angels. Tangible items are very limited, however your memories are abundant. 

If you know when your baby would have been born, you can estimate an approximate due date and use this information for various memorials for your sweet children.

These bereaved parents of pregnancy and infant loss have used some of this information to create “Love Memorials” for their angels http://justacloudaway.com/nav-sidebar-ideas/gallery/index.html

Peace Love and Hugs from Above   www.justacloudaway.com

Diana 

  • Aries — “I am,” assertive, individualistic, enthusiasm, pioneering, leader, competitive, action-oriented, defensive, aggressive, intemperate, violent, fiery, powerful, extreme, arrogant, uncontrolled and unrestrained, quick, passionate, determined, fresh, head/skull
  • Taurus — “I have,” sensual, affectionate, possessive, cautious, acquisitive, musical, artistic, stubborn, solid, earthly, strong, patient, sturdy, slow, kind, just, throat/neck
  • Gemini — “I think,” “I know,” curious, multi-tasking, talkative, sociable, duality, mercurial, whimsical, intelligent, restless, quick, informed, hands/lungs
  • Cancer — “I feel,” sensitive, tenacious, family and home oriented, helpful, nurturing, moody, watery, protective, emotional, crabby, moody, loving, stomach/breasts
  • Leo — “I rule,” passionate, bossy, loves attention, dramatic, independent, noble, creative, leader, egotistic, sunny, bright, kingly, powerful, heart/back
  • Virgo — “I analyze,” practical, work and service oriented, critical, common sense, modest, intelligent, health conscious, fussy, helpful, loving, flexible, intestines/digestion
  • Libra — “We are,” partnerships, balance, grace, charm, debative, open-minded, cooperative, social, ideas, lazy, kidneys/lumbar
  • Scorpio — “I desire,” intense, controlling, sexual, confrontative, deep, skeptical, mysterious, obsessive, death, transformation, genitals/reproductive organs
  • Sagittarius — “I seek,” philosophic, fun-loving, arrogant, adventurous, expansive, optimistic, blundering, believer, scattered, hips/thighs
  • Capricorn — “I use,” ambitious, cautious, rigid, authoritative, cunning, competent, saturnine, inclined to politics/business, knees/skeleton
  • Aquarius — “I know,” friendships, humanitarian, cause-oriented, the group, society, progressive, eccentric, elitist, sophisticated, objective, nervous system/ankles
  • Pisces — “I believe,” feeling, duality, idealistic, spirituality, acceptance, undiscriminating, soul growth, martyrdom, artistic, neglectful, surrender, compassionate, feet/immune system

   

 

Month

Zodiac Sign

Symbol

Elements

Gemstone

         

Jan 20- Feb 18

Aquarius

Water

Air

January- Garnet

Feb 19- Mar 20

Pisces

Fish

Water

February- Amethyst

Mar 21- Ap 19

Aries

Ram

Fire

March- Aquamarine

Ap 20- May 20

Taurus

Bull

Earth

April- White Topaz

May 21- Ju 20

Gemini

Twins

Air

May- Emerald

Ju 21- July 22

Cancer

Crab

Water

June- Alexandrite

July 23- Aug 22

Leo

Lion

Fire

July- Ruby

Aug 23- Sep 22

Virgo

Virgin

Earth

August- Peridot

Sep 23- Oct 22

Libra

Scale

Air

September- Sapphire

Oct 23- Nov 21

Scorpio

Scorpion

Water

October- Opal

Nov 22- Dec 21

Sagittarius

Archer

Fire

November- Citrine

Dec 22- Jan 19

Capricorn

Sea Goat

Earth

December- Blue Topaz

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    Just a Cloud Away, Inc. is an Online Support Site for those grieving pregnancy and infant loss. The site provides Remembrance Kits, Memory Garden Tutorials, Keepsake Crafts, Helpful Ideas and Articles for the bereaved and those supporting them. 

Just a Cloud Away Remembrance Kits: 

♥ Give as a Sympathy Gift on Christmas, an anniversary or significant date

♥ Document the child’s life-no matter how brief

♥ Create a tribute as a family with your own memorabilia and words

♥ Create a new family portrait on the heaven and earth page-including all

♥ Create a personalized birth certificate for your baby

♥ Components of the kit allow you to compose a beautiful tribute even without having a photograph

♥ The Remembrance Kit can be framed, used in decoupage, placed into a scrapbook or constructing a memory box

♥ Use the kit to gently introduce the concept of death to other siblings

 ♥ Have another family member or friend create a tribute in the perspective of aunt, gramma, or friend 

Just a Cloud Away Remembrance Kits are sold at www.justacloudaway.com or available through Diana Gardner-Williams for $15 plus s/h and tax. The kits make a thoughtful gift for babies who have made the journey by SIDS, stillbirth, miscarriage, ectopic or molar pregnancy, selective reduction, accidents, abortion, and other tragedies.   

In the USA each year, 2 Million pregnancies don’t see their 1st birthdays

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