Suggestions to help you, your spouse and your heart on this journey many couples face dealing with infertility.
Guilford County Coalition on Infant Mortality Coordinator
1203 Maple Street 3rd Floor
Greensboro, NC 27405
Phone: 336-641-6775 Fax: 336-641-6971
“Creating Futures, One Baby At A Time”
Infertility Survival Tips
Be as informed as possible during your journey with infertility. Doctors don’t always have the answers! Research your condition online, but be careful to get your information from reputable sites.
Decide your limits (morally, physically, spiritually, and financially) before you go for treatment. Put them in writing and share them with your doctor. This will help you stick to your limits when the pressure is on.
Don’t take everything others say to heart. People will say the most awful, stupid, hurtful things. Expect it, and remember: they (like all of us) are doing the best they can.
Make sure you understand your insurance coverage and the state laws that apply to coverage of fertility treatments.
If you’re not happy with your doctor, change right away. You need to be understood, be able to ask questions, and not feel threatened or challenged.
Find support. Your family and friends are important, but they can’t replace the value of sharing with other couples who are facing the same fight against infertility. Seek our support groups in your church, community, and on the Internet.
Don’t let life pass you by while you are waiting to become a parent. It would be better to cancel plans at the last minute than to let opportunities to enjoy your life, and your spouse slip away while you wait.
Laugh when you want to laugh and cry when you want to cry.
Give yourself the freedom to grieve. The inability to have a child is a loss. It’s okay, even healthy, to grieve that loss. Don’t allow people to stop the process by telling you to stop making a fuss.
Try to have your husband or another support person with you at doctor visits. You never know when you might receive upsetting news, and it helps to have someone there to comfort you.
If your marriage suffers because of infertility, get help early! My husband and I found that our infertility problems were tearing us apart. Getting professional help was the best thing we’ve ever done for our marriage.
Be selective when telling others about your infertility. Many of us have lived to regret making our struggles common knowledge among family and friends.
Take 400-800 milligrams of ibuprofen an hour or so before an HSG or endometrial biopsy. It really helps lessen the discomfort.
Don’t waste time being treated by a gynecologist who claims to also treat infertility. The only doctors who have the extra years of training in infertility treatments are reproductive endocrinologists. Go straight to the specialist.
Try to rest in the Lord and wait for his timing and will. Remember to enjoy life right now. Take a walk, and see the beauty and the gifts God has bestowed upon you.
Don’t feel bad about feeling bad. Infertility is lousy. It’s normal to hurt.
If you need to stay home from a family gathering, baby shower, or even a birthday party, do it. Don’t feel guilty.
Hold onto the Lord with all your mind, body, and spirit. Honestly, he’s our only hope!
Remember, this is not a sprint, but a marathon.
Keep a prayer journal to express your hurt and frustrations. And read good books that will help develop you maturity during this tough time.
Remember, there is a bigger picture that we aren’t capable of seeing just yet. Though the pain is real and heartbreaking, the rest of the story will be glorious and beyond our comprehension.
Unless someone has experienced or is experiencing infertility, don’t pay attention to their cliches or simple answers.
Include your husband in the grieving process. Open up to each other regarding what each of you are going through.
See a fertility counselor if you can. This wonderful woman kept me from losing my head.
The dreams have shattered, but not the spirit. Allow God to comfort and support you.
Consider infertility like other trials we face in life – know God has allowed it (Job 1:6-12); don’t be surprised by it (1 Peter 4:12); and remember that it’s working in you an “eternal glory that far outweighs them all” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).
The above excerpts are taken from Empty Womb, Aching Heart (Hope and Help for Those Struggling with Infertitlity), by Marlo Schalesky
Infertility is another type of grief minimized by soceity. These helpful suggestions are provided by a women whose heart has been broken several times and also pieced back together by love. Couples experiencing infertility issues may also have had to endure another type of grief-pregnancy loss. Infertility and pregnancy losses should not be minimized because those children were very much loved long before trying to conceive.
Peace Love and Hugs from Above www.justacloudaway.com