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Posts Tagged ‘Memories’

If your girlfriend baby’s has died as an infant or early in her pregnancy she needs your support more than ever. These tragic losses not only affect her emotionally, but physically.  Most likely her baby was greatly loved even before conception and the following pain creates an overwhelming amount of grief.

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In the weeks after the loss of your friend’s baby, precious memories will be created for her to remember a child forever loved.

The suggestions are that of my own after loosing my stillborn son Tanner and hearing other stories of bereaved mothers at support groups, church functions and other experiences.

You already know your friend on an intimate level and the loss of her baby will allow you to grow even closer. It is frightening to imagine the loss of your own child, but your pain and your strength can comfort your girlfriend who needs you.

Some Suggestions to Help:

 I hope these suggestions help to comfort your girlfriend in one of the most tragic events of her life. If she is taking prescription medication for her grief, do not take what she says to heart. Grieving is hard work and bereaved parents may not understand what is happening in their worlds. Be Understanding, Be There and Be Her Friend.

If you are a bereaved mommy or daddy and would like to share the words or actions that gave you some comfort during the time of your child’s passing, you are welcome to do so in the comment box below.

Peace Love and Hugs from Above  www.justacloudaway.com

Diana

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Not only does the season effect bereaved parents of pregnancy and baby loss, music may also provoke strong emotions associated with their sweet children. Even before the stillbirth of my son Tanner, I am very moved by the melody and lyrics of certain songs that touch my soul.

Do you remember the songs playing on the radio about the time your little baby became an angel? Did you purchase a music cd to play while rocking your precious baby to sleep? Was there a certain song sung or played at your child’s memorial service, funeral or memory garden dedication? Are there holiday carols ringing in your ears department stores played when you were grieving the loss of your baby?

Yes, to all of the above.

I purchased a lullaby cd months before Tanner was born. I pictured myself holding him in my arms while he fell asleep listening to the soothing songs and rocking him. I will listen to this cd when I feel like crying or am just in melancholy mood.

Tanner was stillborn September 28th and I can remember 2 songs that played over and over again on the radio. “My Immortal” by Evanescence and “Fallen” by Sarah McLachlan. My cries started from the depths of my soul and by the time they reached my exterior I was exhausted and needed to sleep. I could not compose myself when these songs played and also have a difficult time today.

Ave Maria is a beautiful song included on the lullaby cd I purchased just for Tanner and me. I would play this song over and over in anticipation of cradling my son in my arms. A church member also sang this for me at Tanner’s Memorial Service and I was so touched.

Christmas was only 3 months after Tanner’s death and I remember hearing “Mary did you know” being sung and had to walk out of the church. I am the emotional type anyway with everything on my sleeves for all to see, that’s me. When the death of my first born child sits on top of my forearm and a song reminiscent of him is played, my sadness can be read a mile away.

Annie Lennox is a musical artist and was the lead singer of the Eurythmics back in the 80’s. I loved her music because it was so powerful. I had no idea that the song “Angel” was for her stillborn child. When I was a teenager I didn’t care about anything but myself, let alone a musician whose child died. How different things are now. If you listen to her singing this song “Angel”, it is truly from her broken heart.

The music, the lyrics, the song titles that bring you and your baby together are another element to include when scrapbooking  or creating keepsakes remembering your baby in heaven.

What are the songs that bond you and your baby?

Peace Love and Hugs from Above  www.justacloudaway.com

Diana

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This is how our life turned out. My husband and my son Tanner will forever share a birthday on September 28th. The day started out incredibly exciting and ended with the birth of our first angel. I am so glad that I wrote this poem shortly after his birth because I don’t wish to forget one minute of Tannertime.

I hope that every family of an angel can remember the little details. Most are painful memories and can never be repeated because these moments belong only to them. They are special to us and to our angels. This is one poem that is placed in our family scrapbook.

SEPTEMBER 28, 2003 

6 LONG MONTHS

2 PINK LINES

EXCITEMENT, JOY, GOOSEBUMPS

JUNGLE NURSERY

1ST KICKS-MAY 29, 2003

BABY SHOWERS

CONTRACTIONS

TODD’S BIRTHDAY PRESENT

TAKE A SHOWER

CALL DOCTOR

EXCITEMENT, JOY, GOOSEBUMPS

WAITING ROOM

SMALL EXAMINING ROOM

BRIGHT, WHITE FLUORESCENT LIGHTS

FETAL DOPPLER

SILENCE

TODD

OXYGEN MASK

3 NURSES

NO WORDS

SONOGRAM

EXPRESSIONLESS

TODD ASKS

NO, NO, NO

TODD AND I, EV, PARENTS, CARRIE AND RON

NO, NO, NO

SWALLOW HEART

WHISPER, “GOD IS GOOD”

WHITE ROSE ON DOOR

12 HOURS

NURSE TRACY

BABY TANNER

SILENCE

TEARS, LOVE, EMPTINESS

BEAUTIFUL BABY BOY

OUR SON

5 POUNDS 4 OUNCES, 21 INCHES LONG

TANNER LEE WILLIAMS

 Peace Love and Hugs from Above   www.justacloudaway.com

Diana

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