I am now on Citalopram, the generic form of Celexa and this is helping tremendously. When I first started taking this medication I was quite tired and zombie-like. For some reason that fatigue has subsided and I can multi-task like nobody’s business. Citalopram is the second medication my doctor prescribed, Lexapro being the first. $70 a month or $9 a month, I chose 9 (citalopram).
I am relieved of such intense bouts of anxiety and panic and did not know life could be this way. I am very confident that generalized anxiety disorder or GAD is a condition I’ve had most of my life and now can experience life with a calmer nature.
September is my stillborn son’s angelversary (death date) and this will be the true test of the prescribed medication. I told my doctor that 1 month prior to Tanner’s angelversary and 1 month after I am incredibly tense and not fun to be around. So he scheduled another follow up visit for September to see how I’m doing.
I don’t know if I will be able to describe this to its fullest since these are just feelings where I have no control. There has been a pattern of high anxiety around Tanner’s death date that begins sometime around my birthday, August 23. I have a shorter fuse than usual and I do not get along with my husband and make it very clear to stay away from me.
I don’t know if its because Tanner and my husband share birthday’s or just the fact that we are approaching a bittersweet day, September 28. On the birthday cake it will always read “Happy Birthday Todd and Tanner” and sometimes it ends up being a very melancholy day with a great deal of silence.
I hope Citalopram will alleviate this anxiety and panic so I can enjoy my husband’s birthday and honor my perfect and beautiful stillborn son Tanner.
Peace Love and Hugs from Above www.justacloudaway.com
Diana
I found this webpage by accident but it is very odd to me because I just lost my infant son 2 days ago. he too shared my husbands birthday. I am sitting awake again tonight because i simply cannot sleep… When my Dr. asked if I wanted sleeping pills before letting me leave the hospital 2 days ago I thought she was crazy..and denied them, now I understand…. I cannot breathe.. I feel like a zombie.. I am so empty… The funeral is this Monday.. and to be honest it doesn’t even feel like I had a baby. My mind is playing tricks on me.. I am scared I may lose my mind before this is over..
Dear Amy
I am so sorry for what you are going through today and in the future. You may feel “Out of It” for quite some time and you aren’t alone.
Your angel and your husband share a special day and it took us years to be at peace with this day.
Keep your heart and senses open for signs from your baby. I believe our children are here.
Peace Love and Hugs from Above
Diana
I am reading this blog because my son’s 7th birthday would be in 5 days, but instead I have to remember him only as he looked that day he was born stillborn 7 years ago.
I too am on Celexa have been for about 8 months and it does help tremendously. I believe that the tragic emotional experience from delivering your baby stillborn caused my Anxiety to reach a threshold that required medicine. My dh and I are very grateful for how it has helped me cope.
I have a 2 and 5 year old, they are amazing, but i can’t help but think of the plans I should be making for a bday party…I can’t believe that 7 years later it still hurts. DOn’t get me wrong the pain is much less, but still so present!
Amy I remember those early days and believe me you have to take it one day at time and just remember to rest and drink water. You will make it and hopefully your dh and family will understand that it feels so different to you as the mommy. Please feel free to talk more and I will be happy to email and help as you go through difficult time.
Its nice to see you posting on this topic, I need to book mark this site. Just keep up the good work.