My husband and I could not believe Tanner’s heart wasn’t beating. When did he die? What do I do? Where do I go? Who am I supposed to talk to?
September 28, 2003 at 1am the contractions started. This was my husband’s birthday and apparent Tanner and Todd would share this special day, how wonderful. We have 3 dogs and I was worried about leaving them for a length of time, so I called my best friend Ev to dogsit. She arrived in a flash but didn’t understand what my intentions were for her. She was very excited to accompany us to the hospital, so I said what the hell. I would just send Todd back to look after the dogs if we were gone too long.
We were off to the hospital and I was on top of the world. Tanner would be in my arms in a few hours and everything was going to be perfect. I can even remember what I was wearing, polyester blue pants and a gray victoria’s secret t-shirt with sneakers. We registered or checked in prior to this day to make this part effortless. Within a few minutes we were led to a small examining room while Evelyn stayed in the waiting area.
This is the room where our lives would change forever. Flourescent lights and white sterile walls are what I remember. A heavy set nurse checked my cervix and then I was hooked up to a fetal monitor to record contractions. 2 nurses quickly turned into 4 nurses.
Peace Love and Hugs from Above www.justacloudaway.com
Diana
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The Birth of my Stillborn Baby- Part 1
I myself have suffered the death of a stillborn baby. My son had to be delivered on January 26 of 2009. He was due in April of 2009. I certainly feel the pain that you feel. please remember that your baby is in a far better place than he would be today. I am a christian woman and i believe in my lord Jesus. Condidering the times, I feel that the Lord kept my baby from the pain that is yet to come. He knew i always wanted an angel, and now i have one. I always say to myself, “some dream of angels, and I got to hold one!” Again, I am so so sorry for your loss. I will pray for you, and your beloved baby.
Hi there Margaret – I also lost my baby, a little girl who I named April. She was due in April and was born sleeping on 18th January 2009, so a similar time to your little boy. I just wanted to pass on my regards. I hope you are coping. It is a real struggle isn’t it day to day. Like you, my beliefs are extremely important to me and even more so now. It’s the only way to get through I find. I truly believe our babies are angels sent from above.
Diana – I am truly sorry too for your loss. I think these kits you have created sound wonderful. I don’t think we have them here in the UK but if we did, I’m sure I’d buy one.
I find as a nation we can be quite ’stiff upper lip’ towards infant death. Many friends and family and work colleagues have shown tremendous support. Others just expect you to get back to normal – whatever normal is supposed to be when you have just lost your child.
Anyway, I just want to send big hugs to everyone and gentle days ahead.
Sam XX