Not only is the date of a baby or child’s death an emotional time for bereaved parents, also the season. Anxiety is usually present long before the tragic angelversary. The colors, the temperature, the amount of daylight, the landscape and possibly the holiday (songs and music playing on the radio) that are associated with the infants passing. Early pregnancy losses may even be overlooked by those surrounding greiving families.
Christmas is reminiscent of my girlfriends miscarried baby, Valentine’s Day is reminiscent of my girlfriend’s stillborn son, summer is the season of my girlfriend’s ectopic pregnancy, springtime is reminiscent of my girlfriend’s aborted baby of 15 years ago and autumn is reminiscent of my stillborn son’s death.
It is never expected for others to know the intense grief of loosing a baby or the altered vision as a family together, just acknowledgement of pain and their sweet child. Maybe you thought about your child playing with mine, maybe you thought about sharing toys and clothes, maybe you thought about another grandchild attending church with you, maybe you thought about hanging another stocking for them, maybe you thought about having another niece or nephew to buy presents for, maybe you thought about just loving another child within the circle of your life. Ignoring death can lead to hostile feelings because in a way, the choice has been made to minimize their baby. Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness is gaining momentum, but we have a long way to go. The month of October is not only for us, but also Cancer Awareness, sometimes overshadowing our babies. Many pink ribbons are distributed, but when you see a pink and blue ribbon, babies are remembered too.
Our seasons are just as important for remembering our children no longer with us. Every autumn is bittersweet for me. I was pregnant soon after the death of my son with another boy. My living son and my deceased son’s birthday’s(also my husband’s birthday) are 2 weeks apart. I grieve first for my angel, I then must prepare for my living child’s birthday party and hayride.
I am not looking for closure and I am not looking for sympathy, I am looking for acknowledgement of my deceased child that has blessed me beyond words. Don’t be afraid to mention his name. Yes, a tear may fall, but it would mean so much. If you don’t have the strength to do so, include his name in the cards you send me, please.
If you send a sympathy card or “Love Memorial™”, think about the child’s season too. Beautiful seasonal images can be incorporated into scrapbooks and memory gardens for babies gone too soon.
Peace Love and Hugs from Above www.justacloudaway.com
Diana
my Baby James’ Birthday is the 28th of this month and I’m sure feeling all of the above…big hug!!
Thank you for having this website. Not only is the information helpful, but I’m so glad to find ways to scrapbook about my babies. We lost our first 2 and never got to see them as doctors didn’t think that was a good idea 45 years ago! I’m very eager to start working on my memorial scrapbook. I will also be including some poems that I wrote to my Darrell and Melody.
Jo Ann,
Thank you for visiting Just a Cloud Away and your testimony of how parents do not have a timeline for memorializing love for their angels passed.
I hope nature will provide you with many more opportunities to scrapbook sweet Darrell and Melody angelversaries.
Peace Love and Hugs from Above
Diana
It has only been 10 days since my 7mth old son died of sids and I have no idea where to go from here…
Dear Rebekah,
I am so sorry about your angel boy. SIDS is a terrible thing.
Are you in Australia?
I know there is a wonderful support group there called SANDS. It will be so comforting to share your story with other bereaved parents, only when you are ready. Please feel free to write as much about your son on this website as well.
I will have you and your family in my prayers
Peace Love and Hugs from Above
Diana
my daughter died of sids jan 2009 she was 2 months old and i miss her very much and i want to have another baby but i am so scared it is gonna happen again . i never knew October was sids awarness month i never even knew there was any such thing . losing an infant from sids or losing an infant at all is a very hard and painful thing to have to go thru and it happens to alot of people so why dont they make sids awarness month more aware ?
i lost my baby 15 min after he was born. Sept.10 2009 will be his first birthday. we are going to have a memmoral service at our house to remember him. but i still have troubles getting over the hurt and confusion of why god took my baby away. will the pain every go away.
I lost my grandaughter on April 21, 2008 she was 4 months and 11days old. Her Birthday is December 10th and I have really been struggling with wanting to put a birthday rememberance in the paper but just can’t find the words I want to say. She was so close to me as she lived in my home and I took care of her most of the time. I think about her every day and cry sometimes asking God why her. Does anyone else have these feelings.
Lynne,
Oh my yes, many of us have these same feelings. Life is just not fair and we all have so much love to give.
We will probably never know the “WHY”. How could there be a why?
I am sorry you are suffering Lynne and I hope you can find some peace holding on to the memory of your angel.
Peace, Love and Hugs from Above
Diana
[...] that the scents of the season, colors, music on the radio, the landscape, the ambiance of the month will all attribute to the [...]
[...] that the scents of the season, colors, music on the radio, the landscape, the ambiance of the month will all attribute to the [...]
Today is the 1st week anniversary of lossing our dear wee Tessa.
Tessa was our first baby – we were 18.5 weeks pregnant and for a yet to be discuovered (if ever) cause – my waters broke 2 days after returning from our gorgeous honeymoon.
I too dont want sympathy. I just need Tessa to be remembered. I miss her terribly and still cant believe we have lost her.
She was perfect in every way. All 10 fingers and toes, little eyebrows and perfect little lips.
Thank you for creating this website.
I am going to start scrapbooking today…..something our grief/berevement counsellor gave us which might help others:
Parents hold their Children’s hands for just a little while….their hearts forever
Warmest regards
Chrissy
Hi,
I gave birth 2 1/2 weeks ago to our stillborn son at 22 weeks. He was beautiful and so far we don’t know if there was a reason. Everything had been going so well.
It God brings us to it, he will bring us through it.
Julie
That was beautiful I too lost my beautiful baby boy, he was only 1 month old. As it gets nearer his birthday it’s like he was only here yesterday the grieve is so strong, he would have been 2 this October and I miss him terribly, I can put a good act on but inside I still feel like I’m dying without him. That makes me feel alittle guilty as I have 2 other boys one older and one younger and I know how much I love them but when it’s near his birthday and aniversary it’s just becomes so hard to hide the pain.
Reading your blog really helps, it’s a very beautiful thing to do, so sorry for your loss
I lost my precious son Connor he was stillborn we dont know why it was a very quick accident I am assuming to do with the cord. He was moving in the morning of November 25th and had passed away in the afternoon sometime on November 25th. His angel date is on the 25th of november which my family is releasing blue balloons in the air for Connor. but I am also planning on doing something for what would be his 1st birthday as i was being induced on november 26th anyway. His passing was a huge huge shock for all family involved. We miss him so so so much. After i delivered Connor on November 26th 2009 at 5:15am. My family and I were able to spend 24 hours with him after the delviery was is 24 hours I will never forget in my lifetime. I was able to hold him and kiss him etc. I am looking for ideas that other mommy and daddys did for their 1 yr angel dates for their precious angel babies. feel free to email with some ideas as I dont frequent this site often.
any ideas are appreciated
slovely96@gmail.com
thanks everyone
I hope everyone is doing okay xoxox to all the mommys and daddys, aunts and uncles grandma and grandpas, sisters and brothers and cousins.
RIP to all the precious angels baby’s who are playing together in heaven.
My baby boy died on the 25/4/2011 he was 3 months old and died of whooping cough, his funeral is in 3 days and i dont want to carry on with out him, i have 2 older girls that i love dearlu, i feel like no one understands how im feeling, i dont know how to get through this, i miss him so much.
I lost my baby on 27th of june and gave birth on 28th june, i was having regular scans cause my baby wasn’t growing right and on 27th june 2011 i had a scan and i was 36 week pregnant, before my scan i got my self ready at home, felt my baby move then when i got to hospital they scanned me and didn’t find a heart beat. I was n too uch shock to feel any emotion. The next day on 28th june 2011 i gave birth to my baby boy joshua. Was such a sad time and still is now. I wish i could bring my angel back. it’s a sad thing for any woman to go through. I wish there was a easy way of getting through the grief because i feel so crap sometimes it’s unbearable. I would give anything to hod my baby boy one last time.
This is for my little angel Aidan. I found out about you in January and I loved you instantly. You became an angel on March 6, 2007 and part of my heart went to heaven with you that day. Although you were only with me for a short time you touched my life and everyone else in my life forever. You saved me. On January 31st 2011 your baby sister Alexandria was born. She is so much like you I feel the love. We celebrated your birthday( due date ) on October 6th 2011 by lighting a candle for you at my sacred place and singing happy birthday. I will have to wait a lifetime to hold you in my arms but I’m patient. See you in heaven my little angel. You will never be forgotten @-{—- (rose) love you Aidan