Memories of a Forever Child
January 18, 2008 by diana gardner-williams
We never really know when a memory will be instilled within the file cabinets of our minds. Years later these thoughts will again be revealed to us. Some painful, some joyful and some are beautiful reminders of moments forthcoming, that no words can describe.
One month before Tanner was stillborn, we had a baby shower at our home. Everything needed to be perfect as I was helping to set up. Being a Landscape Designer http://www.justacloudaway.com/nav-sidebar-ideas/garden.html, I wanted fresh cut flowers everywhere. Minutes before people were to arrive, I drove a few blocks away to a wildflowerpatch beside the road. After fighting off the bees, I grabbed my pruners and started snipping away. I really packed the trunk to maximum capacity. Trying to get just a few more, I pruned my finger. WOW, my heart skipped a beat and I saw white. I needed to concentrate on my breathing or else I would have passed out.
The sight of wildflowers have new meaning. This bloody moment was instilled into my permanent memory file. I can now dry wildflowers to place in scrapbooks, photograph wildflower fields, plant wildflowers in his memory garden and think of my sweet little angel Tanner with the mere vision of delicate wildflowers dancing in the breeze.
Pregnancy and Infant Loss are devastating, but I think we have been given the gift to remember thoughts in great detail in exchange for little to no tangible memories.
Peace Love and Hugs from Above www.justacloudaway.com
Diana
